Posts Tagged ‘immigrants’

Why do they (the government)call my id/resident card a Green card when it is actually white? and on top it says:Resident Alien?

November 6th, 2009

Well, being an immigrant I wanted to know why do they (the government)call my id/resident card a Green card when it is actually white? and on top it says:Resident Alien?

-Peruvian42

Dear Peruvian42,

Hola! (Which also means ‘Hello’).

The strange nature about your government is that they, unfortunately, have always labeled outsiders with color. Since the conception of this country, starting from the invasion of the British Red coats, then came U.S.S.R. Red commies, then came the Blue man group, and then out of nowhere came you: aliens. Well, Green aliens to be exact.

We all know you come here in peace and that you mean no harm. To ensure peace, again, your government wanted a way to keep track of you via a high tech piece of equipment called: the immigration card. The immigration card is a simple concept; just like a credit card but without any money, you carry this piece of paper around and somehow the government and its fellow citizens feel safe from outer space attacks and abductions.

Over time, the aliens didn’t like to be labeled as immigrants; they just wanted to fit in and contribute to the rest of society. After much lobbying, protesting, and several terrifying U.F.O. sightings, the ‘immigration card’ changed to the… Green card.

Now, everything good in this world is represented by the color Green: Green trees, Green traffic lights, Green American Express, Green M&M’s, and the Greenbay Packers just to name a few.

Oh, that reminds me; I have to head out to Greenwise Market for some Green eggs and ham.

Hasta luego,

Jeesus (or Hay-soos).

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How Do You Feel About Immigrants?

October 18th, 2008

How do you feel about immigrants? Do you think we should go back to our countries?

-Cholita

Dear Cholita,

I don’t like to think in terms of countries. People are people. I don’t see the need for discrimination based on imaginary borderlines.

I think people should live where they want, as long as they’re making a positive contribution to society. And as long as they’re Christian, of course. Innocent

Unless you’re an immigrant from Hell. We don’t need your kind up here, with your exotic porn shops and really spicy food.

Other than that, live wherever you want. Tell them Jesus gave you permission.

Thanks,

Jesus (pronounced Haysoos)

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