As a guy you should be able to help me out.

I know girls like to keep their lower areas neat and trim but as a guy are we allowed to shave or does it have to be au natural?

I guess what I’m trying to ask is am I going to be looked at as too much of a “pretty boy” or even as a player on the other side of the fence if I went ahead and mowed my grass?

Not sure?

-Michael

Dear Michael,

Are you kidding? Chicks love that stuff! If you have a girlfriend, she’d probably want to shave it for you. If you have a wife, she’ll probably think you’re cheating on her. If you’re single, any girl you sleep with will call her female friends the next day and tell them. Then they’ll all be shaving their boyfriends by lunchtime. Of course, if you’re single you’re not having sex anyway, right? Riiiiiiiight.

Now, personally? The knowledge that you want to do that makes me question your sexuality. But what do you care? You’ll be the one with all the hot chicks.

Or guys if you prefer.

Good Luck,

Jesus

P.S. Let me know how the view is from Brokeback Mountain.

-Rema

Dear Rema,

Whoa! We’re getting a little personal, aren’t we, Rema? I said you guys could ask me anything, though. I don’t want anyone going around saying that Jesus went back on his word. It could traumatize millions of Christians if they start to doubt certain other promises I’ve made.

To answer your question: God made hair grow there for a reason. I don’t see why it needs to be trimmed at all. Just wash it and comb it and it’s cool with me.

In other words, it can look like the jungle, as long as there are no jungle creatures living in it.

Thanks,

Jesus