Posts Tagged ‘reproduce’

If Adam and Eve Only Had Two Sons, How Did They Reproduce?

October 18th, 2008

If Adam and Eve only had two sons, how did they reproduce?

-Lisa

Dear Lisa,

Are you questioning my father’s abilities? He can pop babies into wombs at will. He could snap his fingers right now and you’d be eight months pregnant. How would you like that? In fact, I have half a mind to tell Him to do it. I’ll tell him to wait until you’re not expecting it, though. Then — BAM — swollen ankles, back pain, and stretch marks!

Well, I guess you’re entitled to ask the question. Let’s just say that incest was a lot more popular back then than it is today. Well, maybe not more popular, but more acceptable. I’ve seen the Jerry Springer show, I know what you people do.

Anyway, these days everyone knows that incestual reproduction replicates recessive traits in the gene pool, thereby weakening the bloodline. Well, you probably don’t know, but everyone else does.

But back then we didn’t even know what DNA was. God didn’t even know. He was shocked when they discovered it. He was so surprised He spit out His YooHoo.

So He doesn’t really condone incest anymore. After all, He can still see the damage that those first few generations of inbreeding did to the human race. And he doesn’t even have to turn on Jerry Springer.

Thanks for the question.

JC

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