Posts Tagged ‘video’

If You Wanted Everyone To Read The Bible… Why Do We Have TV And Video Games?

October 18th, 2008

Jeesus,

If you wanted everyone to read the bible and go to church WHY on earth did you bless some walking man on earth with the bright idea to invent the television…AND then, not only have the brains to invent the televison but to take it one step further by coming up with reality tv, hdtv and blu-ray. As if that wan’t enough you couldn’t let the inventers stop at nintendo, someone had to go above and beyond the call of duty and come up with high graphic computer games: world of warcraft, counterstrike, command and conquer, etc. And if that wasn’t putting forth 150% the invention process had to be topped off with the invention of Playstation 3???

I think it would have been a lot easier to reach out to your followers if they weren’t so busy exercising their digits and perfecting the art of not blinking!

-Jessica

Dear Jessica,

Whoa! You see how I get blamed for everything? Now I gave man the idea to invent the television and the Playstation 3!

I appreciate the vote of confidence in my technological ability, but I don’t even know how those things work! I asked a guy about how TVs work once. He started droning on about radio waves and cathode ray tubes, and I just fell asleep! It was more boring than Leviticus!

I never even went to high school. You think I’m responsible for World of Warcraft and Counterstrike? I wish!

I’m not even good at video games. I could barely complete any missions in Grand Theft Auto. Eventually I just gave up and started shooting at the cops. And my little Minotaur guy in World of Warcraft is stuck at level 6!

As I’ve said before, we allow you people to have free will. That includes the ability to create and invent things within the boundaries of your world. And not everything that anyone invents is divinely inspired. Next you’re gonna be blaming me for inventing the electric chair, LSD, the nuclear weapon. That’s ridiculous. All of those things were invented by the United States government.

I hate reality TV and repetitive, derivative sitcoms. And I think HDTV and blu-ray are a waste of money, because the technology is going to outrun the demand. Soon you’ll be putting those things in the closet next to your Laserdisc players.

To be honest, I do want you people to read the Bible. And to read other books as well. So don’t blame me for all the distractions that you have in your lives. Put the blame where it truly lies.

The U.S. government.

Thanks,

Jesus H. Christ (the “H” stands for “Halo 2 champion”)

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